Text Them Anyway: 10 Real-Life Ways to Honor Someone You’ve Lost

Let’s face it — days like Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, and Memorial Day can sneak up and hit like a freight train. These are the days when the ache of grief gets louder, when your person’s absence feels just a little more visible, and when the world seems to carry on while you’re still trying to catch your breath.

As a grief counselor here at Trellis Counseling & Co. PLLC, I’ve walked with hundreds of people through this exact kind of day. And one of the most common questions I hear is: “What do I do with myself when the world wants to celebrate, and I just want to hide in a blanket burrito?”

The good news? You don’t have to pretend to be okay. But you also don’t have to spend the whole day curled up under the covers (unless you want to — that’s valid too). Sometimes, it helps to have tangible ways to stay connected to the one you’re missing. So here are 10 meaningful, real-life ways to honor your loved one on a day that feels heavy. Don’t worry, I won’t tell you to “just breathe.”

1. Send Them a Text Anyway

Yes, really. Open your phone, type out a message to them, and hit send — even if it’s just to yourself. You can save it, delete it, or keep a dedicated text thread going year after year. It’s less about the delivery and more about maintaining the thread of connection.

2. Make a Playlist of Their Songs or Songs You Enjoyed Together

Gather the songs that remind you of them — the ones they loved, the ones that played during important moments, even the ones that make you cry. Then hit play. It’s a private, powerful way to let their memory fill the room, the backyard, or your heartspace as you go for a walk.

3. Meditate on Their Memory Somewhere You Both Loved

Is there a place or setting that reminds you of your time together? Or maybe there’s a favorite spot of theirs that you’ve been curious to explore. Well…go for it. Find it. Stretch your legs and lean in to that physical and emotional space for a time and remember them there.

4. Order Their Favorite Takeout

Was it fried chicken and Dr. Pepper? Thai food with extra peanut sauce? Go get it. Eat it the way they would have — messy, specific, joyful. Maybe even eat it in their favorite spot: on the porch, by the lake, or with a good rerun on in the background. Of course, skip any allergens that might be specific to you.

5. Keep Their Phone Number Active

Many people choose to keep their loved one’s phone number connected to a second line or voicemail box. It becomes a sacred space — a place to “call” them when you need to. Some family members even rotate who gets to use the number year to year. It’s not weird, and is actually a very common practice.

6. Make a Small Donation in Their Name — Without the Pressure

Forget big formal fundraisers. Pick a cause that would make them smile — maybe the animal shelter where they got their dog, or the library they loved — and send $5 or $10 in their name. You don’t have to post about it. Just let it be between you and them.

7. Create a Private Social Media Account Just for Them

Set up a closed Instagram or Facebook account where you post memories, photos, and notes. It’s like a digital scrapbook that’s always accessible — and doesn’t require you to share your grief with the whole world unless you choose to.

8. Wear Something That Was Theirs

A watch. A necklace. Their old hoodie that still smells a little like them. It’s not about fashion — it’s about feeling wrapped up in their presence for the day. Let it be your quiet armor. If you don’t have something they wore, consider doing your make up like theirs, or sampling their favorite fragrance.

9. Host a “Story Hour” with One Trusted Person

Invite a friend, sibling, or partner to sit with you while you tell one story about your person. Just one. It can be funny, weird, or simple. The point is: their story gets told. You’re keeping them real in a world that too quickly moves on.

10. Name Something After Them

A plant, a sourdough starter, your fantasy football team, a playlist, even your Wi-Fi password. Keep their name — or nickname — in your daily orbit. It’s a subtle way of saying: you’re still here with me, even in the small stuff.

You Don’t Have to Earn Your Grief

One last thing: you don’t have to “do grief the right way.” You don’t have to look strong, make a speech, or post something profound. Some years you’ll want to mark the day with intention. Other years you might just want to lay low. Both are valid. There’s no scoreboard for grief.

At Trellis, we understand how exhausting these dates can be — and how comforting it is to talk with someone who gets it. Whether you’re grieving a parent, a partner, a child, a friend, or someone whose title never quite fit but whose loss hits just as hard, we’re here for you.

We're based in the heart of the Texas Hill Country, offering grief counseling that’s grounded, compassionate, and real. If you’re tired of being told to “just stay positive,” come sit with us. We’ll help you carry what you can’t put down.

Looking for grief support that actually helps?
Visit Trellis Counseling & Co. PLLC to learn more about our services or to book a session.
You’re not alone — not on Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Memorial Day, or any day in between.